Quinceañera

Today, someone I love deeply turns 15. I've been thinking of her all day. Praying that she is having a lavish celebration with a delicious cake, and a dress that makes her feel beautiful. I'm praying she got the chance to enjoy what the rite of passage is meant to bring her.

I sent a card to the adoption agency for her. It was purple, sparkly, and ornate- with well wishes scripted in Spanish. Just like everything I've sent the agency, I do not know if it was ever picked up.

I think about her all the time. Even though that might sound exaggerated, it's really not. Most of the time when she crosses my mind, I send up a prayer for safety and peace and wish there was more I could do for her.

What my life is now, who I am, my little girl - all started with that 15 year old across the country.

I can't offer a birthday present, but I will honor you by giving everything to your baby that I possibly can. I will stay up late looking for the best treatments for her. I will wake up early to prepare her meals. I will be extra careful that she gets to have every fun kid moment she deserves. We'll splash in puddles and pop the bubble wrap from mail packages. We'll count the squirrels and flowers on our walks around the block. I'll teach her about the God that created her just the way she was meant to be. I'll tell her not to let anything stop her from doing what's right.

And when she turns 15, I'll throw her the Quinceañera you deserve today. We'll find the puffiest dress, and the pinkest lipstick. I'll find someone who knows how to make a traditional almond cake. We'll invite everyone to witness Cataleya become a woman as she receives her gifts and blessings from the people who love her. Then we'll dance like crazy people and party our night away. In my party planning daydreams, I hope you'll be there too.

Happy Birthday.