I really want to keep this blog updated and detailed, but the truth is that I haven't known what's going on since this whole process started. Everything is so complicated, and there is no clear cut way to do things or an order to the insanity. Because we are working with another state, we have to be careful that everything is done according to both New York and California standards. I ask a bunch of questions and write down everything everybody tells me, but it's all jibberish and jargon. All I know is that we are going to eventually adopt Cataleya, but it will cost a lot of money, take a lot of time, and I will have to fill out more paperwork than I've ever seen before in my life.
The first email we ever got about Cataleya mentioned something called "Adoption Subsidy". I'm familiar with adoption subsidy in Foster Care adoptions as they are considered special needs adoptions. Our kids continue to receive Medicaid and the same monthly check that they did when they were in Foster care until they are 18. In Cataleya's case, having Medicaid is going to be so beneficial because at the very least we're looking at 2 open heart surgeries in the next 4 years, but she could need any number of specialists and therapy, medications, tube feeds... Even just thinking about the "what ifs" can put us in debt. From my talks with the NY adoption agency and the CA lawyer, and my online reading- the adoption subsidy (Adoption Assistance Payments- AAP) obviously applies in this case since Cataleya has a clear medical condition and a diagnosed syndrome. We needed to get an adoption agency from CA involved to apply for this benefit.
When I first heard from this CA agency this week, the head guy told me that it is very unlikely Cataleya will be approved for AAP/MediCAL. He said the county she was born in is currently only giving AAP to children who have been involved with CPS. He said he might be able to make an argument that if it weren't for us being chosen for her when we were, she would have been taken into foster care and would have been eligible for AAP. He said the last adoption he did where the baby had DiGeorge, the adoptive parents fought with CA for 2 years before being approved. Then he sent me his bill for $4,500 that needs to be paid before he'll even look at any of our paperwork.
I was completely thrown off guard. We only brought in this agency to apply for the AAP, but if we are not going to get the AAP then we don't need them. If we aren't getting the AAP, and I'll be paying for all her medical expenses, then I'm going to need the $4,500 they are charging us. Applying for the AAP is also going to slow down the adoption process, which is KILLING ME!!! When I ask the NY adoption agency and the CA lawyer how to proceed, they tell me to ask the CA agency who won't give me any answers until our check clears. Everyone just keeps asking if we still want to continue with the placement. Of course we want to continue with the placement!! She's our baby!
I'm looking at it like this- if I gave birth to a baby who was sick, we would figure out how to pay for her medical expenses. That's exactly what I'll do now. I hope CA agrees to support Cataleya's adoption by allowing AAP, but if they don't it's not the end of the world. What is bothering me is that my daughter is alone in a hospital and I can't go see her until these people get their paperwork turned in. I don't care what you need to do or how much you're going to charge me to do it as long as we get it done fast.
Even with all that going on, I think we'll still be able to travel next week. We initially were told we could leave on Thursday March 1st. Now they're saying I'll be getting the call saying it's OK to travel on Thursday and we'll actually leave on Saturday the 3rd. Once we're in CA, though, there's no telling how long we'll have to stay. We have plans in place for our 5 year old son and Brandon's job from March 3rd-11th, so hopefully we can work it out from there. So one week from today, I'll be holding my girl- who by the way has been breathing completely on her own since 9pm last night- and all the paperwork stuff and crazy fees won't matter even a little bit.
I can't believe only 5 weeks ago adoption wasn't even on our radar, and next week Cataleya will be wearing her "I love Mommy" onesie and sleeping in my arms.
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