One Exception

I'm getting my head in the game and gearing up for the changes that are coming for us with Cataleya.

I'm calling nurses and setting up interviews. We are going to try to get nurses to cover 9:30pm- 9:30am seven days per week, and one 4 hour shift during the day like 1:30-5:30pm. This schedule would allow me to get a full night's sleep and put my son on the school bus, then be able to get him off the bus and make dinner.  It will be just Cataleya and I 9:30-1:30, then the whole family home 5:30-9:30.

I drew a plan for how I want the nursery set up in the playroom that sits off the kitchen. Brandon and my Dad will be putting that together this weekend. This way, we won't have to move any machinery up and downstairs and the nurse can use the kitchen while keeping eyes on Cataleya.

We've talked everything over with our 5 year old about sister's trach and tube that she'll have when she gets home, and the nurses who will come to take care of her.

I'm still at a loss for how we will travel to Dr's appts with her or when I'll be able to get out to go to church or get my hair done. I'm sure those things will come, though.

Really, I'm handling the prospect of our new life pretty well.

With one exception.

Cataleya has to have a cuffed trach. Since the vent will need to blow pressure through her airway to keep it open, it's really important that the air not beable to escape from around the trach or out her mouth/nose. The cuff is a little balloon around the trach that inflates to make sure there is no air leak. Without an airleak, Cataleya won't be able to get air through her vocal chords to make noise.

She won't be able to speak or gurgle, and I won't be able to hear her when she cries.

That breaks my heart into a thousand little pieces, and I don't know how to move on from it.